Don't Feed the Pigeons
by OptimisticGirl
Summary: Amid dealing with a Disney obsessed Mary Margaret she had told them not to feed the pigeons but leave it to her boys to never listen to her…


**This is a little one shot I did for the CS writing challenge on Tumblr. First day prompt was 'vacation' and I ran with this!**

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Emma groaned. She should have known this was going to be a mistake. It had been her idea for them to take a family vacation during a quiet moment in Storybrooke. There were no impending villains to protect the town against, no curses to thwart with True Love's Kiss. Even the ever conniving Gold had stopped plotting the town's demise and settled into small town life with Belle and their new baby. It seemed like a logical step for them to take a family vacation, an aspect that as a former orphan she had never had the luxury of doing.

What she hadn't counted on was her mother's unhealthy obsession with all things Disney.

Henry had been the one to suggest Disney World. Emma had thought he was insane – didn't the kid get enough of the fairytale life in Storybrooke? Wasn't being the grandson of Prince Charming and Snow White, the adopted-son of the Evil Queen and Robin Hood, and the step-son of Captain Hook better than any experience Disney had to offer?

Apparently not.

And being her son he hadn't suggested the theme park to her alone over pancakes were she could have had time to formulate a defense against her mother's response. Instead he had dropped the D word at a family dinner were one look at the giddy expression on her mother's face insured she couldn't say no. She would have been the destroyer of dreams if she had, rather than the person who brought back all the happy endings.

Sneaky kid.

It wasn't a secret that Mary Margaret loved Disney. All anyone had to do was look at the DVD case in the Charming loft to know they had entered the home of a Disney nerd – poor David's actions movies were regulated to a small storage bin next to the TV. Apparently only Disney movies deserved the spot of honor of actually being on the shelf. It was a fact Emma still found weird considering her parents were living, breathing fairytales.

She had to admit, Killian's spluttering at watching _Peter Pan_ was the highlight of the snow storm that had trapped them in her parent's loft for a week.

What was a secret was just how deep Mary Margaret's obsession went. Being the only person to have lived a significant time outside Storybrooke, it had been regulated to her to plan the trip. Not that she minded. It gave her something to do during Liam's morning and afternoon naps. The first clue should have been the vast knowledge her mother had about the park, everything from the newest rides to various show times. The second clue should have been when they were packing. They were only going for four days and even as a family of four with one teenager, one drama queen pirate who had to have a different shirt every day, and a six month old who changed clothes multiple times a day, they had managed to get everything in one large suitcase.

Her mother had brought seven. Granted five of them were empty but Snow White had brought _seven_ suitcases with her to Disney World. David had simply shaken his head at his daughter, silently telling her it wasn't worth the battle to get the former bandit to leave some behind.

The final clue should have been the morning of their first day at the park. Her mother had shown up at their hotel room door with a beaming smile, an arm full of shirts, and a bag with the Disney logo emblazoned on its plastic sides. With a chipper welcome that reminded Emma of her Disney counterpart, Mary Margaret and strode into the room and started throwing shirts at them.

They were personalized Disney shirts with Mickey Mouse heads on them (hers had a red bow atop its head to denote Minnie Mouse and the fact that she was, obviously a girl) and their names scrawled across the bottom in that tell-tale Disney font. Killian and Henry had started to refuse to wear them but one stern look from their grandmother and mother-in-law had made both of them clamp their jaws shut and shrug into the Disney merchandise. Mary Margaret had at least gotten Killian a black shirt and Emma couldn't deny the cuteness that was her younger son in his white onesie with 'Liam' written on it.

Both boys had adamantly refused to wear the mouse ears though, no matter how much Mary Margaret glared at them.

But it hadn't been until they got into the first park, Disney Hollywood Studios, that her mother's Disney obsession hit all of them square in the face. Mary Margaret had to go into every store (there was going to be at least 50 bags waiting in her parent's hotel room and it was only their first day), take pictures with every Disney character (she had never been more thankful that Killian had worn his prostatic hand than when her mother made the pirate take a picture sandwiched between Peter Pan and his cartoon version), and ride every, single ride the park had to offer.

She had to admit the $25 was worth it for the picture currently nestled in the backpack slung over her son's shoulder of her father and husband clinging to each other like little girls while riding the Tower of Terror.

Looking over at her mother in her personalized Minnie t-shirt, red Mickey Mouse leggings, and mouse ears she found herself wondering why on Earth she had allowed them to come to Disney World with the President of the Disney World Fan Club. She sighed.

"I don't know about anyone else but I'm starving. We should start thinking about lunch."

"We are in Epcot, mom. We literally just have to pick a country we want to eat from."

Killian frowned at his step-son. "How do whole countries fit into this park, lad?"

"They don't it's— I'll explain over food," Henry replied, taking out the park map her mother had somehow had possession of before they even left Storybrooke. Quickly glancing over it he pointed up ahead.

"Mexico is in front of us and it has a nice little sit down restaurant by the water."

"Sounds like a plan," David huffed as he switched baby Neal from his left hip to his right. They made their way to the quaint little restaurant were their waiter immediately got them settled at a table right next to the large lagoon at the park's center.

While looking over the menu and keeping Liam from tugging his mouse ears off and throwing them in the water – an act his father seemed intent on not stopping – Emma noticed a pigeon fly in and perch on the railing next to their table. Shooing it away without a second's thought she was more than little confused when she looked up a few seconds later to see another – or was it the same? – pigeon sitting on the railing.

Before she could react to it their waiter came and took their food order, smiling brightly as Mary Margaret complimented his Mickey Mouse name tag (she had to remind her mother that wasn't a souvenir she could take home). Turning her attention back to the table she found her eyes widening as she took in the now three pigeons perched on the railing. A few seconds later she realized what was attracting the birds – her husband was not-to-stealthily feeding them bites of the bread on the table.

"Killian, don't feed the pigeons."

Dark eyebrows furrowed at her. "Why not, Swan?"

"You feed one and more will come."

"But what if they're hungry, mom?"

She raised an eyebrow at her older son. "I'm sure they find food all by themselves."

"It's not going to hurt anyone and besides, it's not like we don't have someone who can speak to them and tell them to leave," David said, breaking off a piece of his own bread and handing it to Killian to feed to the pigeons. Emma rolled her eyes at her father's actions but then frowned at his words. Snapping her head toward her mother her jaw dropped.

"You can speak with _birds_?!"

Mary Margaret nodded as she took a sip of her water. "It was one of the things Disney got right."

Their food arrived then and over the next ten minutes Emma kept wearily glancing at the railing as more and more birds came until there were ten, all sat waiting for their piece of bread. She was about to tell her pirate to stop feeding them when their son grunted in her lap. Reaching down to feel his diaper she sighed.

"Mom will you help me change Liam?"

"Of course, hunny."

As they made their way into the restaurant she glanced over her shoulder.

"Stop feeding the birds, boys."

"Aye, Swan."

"Okay, mom."

"Of course."

Ten minutes later after fighting a squirming six-old-month who wanted to grab her hair more than have his diaper changed and physically dragging her mother out of the Mickey Mouse themed bathroom (she wasn't even going to try to take the Mickey Mouse soap dispenser out of her mother's purse), Emma walked onto the patio of the restaurant and froze.

There were pigeons literally everywhere.

They were all along the railing circling the patio, every available table and chair, the ground, even on the Mickey Mouse themed umbrellas that stood over some of the tables.

"What the—"

"Mom!"

"Mary Margaret!"

"Swan!"

Both women turned to see David with Neal in his arms, Killian, and Henry running toward them like a horde of flying monkeys were after them. But it wasn't flying simians that was chasing the three of them – no, it was one large and angry looking pigeon who kept snapping at their heels, resulting in cries of "Bloody buggering bird!" and "Go back to your nest, beast!"

Emma and Mary Margaret burst into a fit of laughter, Emma clutching Liam to her as she almost doubled over.

Perhaps Disney World hadn't been the worst choice for a family vacation after all.

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 **This is actually based on a real life experience with your truly. HINT: I was not Emma in this story.**


End file.
